Very Salvo

Reform Pangaea

2011-02-22T09:45:00.000+11:00

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The Raven

2010-12-14T21:44:00.000+11:00

Edgar Allan Poe

[First published in 1845]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

In Flanders Field

2010-11-11T11:41:00.002+11:00

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Mike Tompkins

2010-11-03T07:00:00.001+11:00

Victor Wooten

2010-11-02T12:39:00.000+11:00

MSS Tour - Govan, Edinborough, Maidenhead

2010-10-28T03:09:00.000+11:00

A place for great things and little things...
Our first concert in Scotland at Govan corps and driving through through the area was interesting. We were advised it would not be a good idea to go wondering around and told about the area a little. It is not a happy picture but that the Salvation Army still has a place in this area is surely a blessing from God. I was reminded of the good works that can be done by the Salvation Army in areas like this and my prayer is that the Govan corps will be a light in the darkness. It was another blessing concert and time spent with wonderful and kind people. I found that in my time greeting people I spent sometime talking with a gentleman and I really thought nothing of it but later one of the people sitting with him said that it made his night. It just goes to show that even the little things that may not seem important to us can be very important to others.

More greetings and meetings...
Edinborough was also beautiful, time spent in the town was glorious and the royal mile up to Edinborough castle was lovely. The people of the Gorgie corps were beautiful also and lovely to spend time with and talk to. Here I made a pen pal and was blessed to receive a post card just this week. The concert was another great time and a blessing also.

One last time!
Our last concert was Maidenhead and another beautiful church facility. Here we were blessed with the company of many people but also particularly special people as there were friends and family who came to see our final concert. Even members of the ISS came to see us, which was just fantastic. It was good to see familiar faces in the audience and catch up with the Ruthven's. Our final concert went well and after there were thank you's and tears and goodbye's it was good.

One last castle
Our final port of call before departing was to go to Windsor Castle. It was beautiful although I did think that the Queen should have known we were coming and been there but unfortunately she was not. It was still enjoyable wandering around and the Windsor Guards are very impressive and boy do they have lungs; "MAKE WAY FOR THE WINDSOR GUARDS!" means, "Seriously! Get out of the way dude!" what a way to end our trip.

MSS Tour - Sunderland Monkwearmouth, Carlisle, Glasgow

2010-10-12T14:19:00.000+11:00

Free time!

Finally what we had all waited for... a free morning, the coach dropped some of us at Gateshead Metro an absolutely massive shopping centre and others in the city for sightseeing. I barely saw a quarter of it but I did some really girly things like getting a manicure so it was nice and relaxing. Then we all met back to head off to Sunderland Monkwearmouth.

Drummer girl

Onward for yet another weekend with an incredible bunch of people, a concert and Sunday worship services. Here our billets had the smartest kid I’ve ever met he knew so much and very witty. It was a blessed time and I must say they have the most incredible drummer, she was amazing I sat there thinking, ‘You go girl!’ then I looked over at the boys in our little ensemble and well let just say there was awe written over their faces... o f course they could’ve pulled their jaws up off the floor.

BOOKS!

So after spending a blessed time with some fantastic people, getting to play a really great tuba and revealing a little of my inner brass-band-nerd it was off to Carlisle. And I must say Carlisle was my favourite civic reception by far because they took me into they’re law library, the books, some old, some damaged, some restored to near perfect condition. It was wonderful and beautiful and it took all my energy to drag myself out of that place.

Blessings and pizza

We in the staff songsters are blessed to have an Executive Officer who is caring, loves the Lord and is tuned into God’s voice. I am continually blessed by her presence in the group and Carlisle was no exception to this blessing. After another good concert, a hunt for pizza ensued where certain members of our pizza hunt ordered the biggest pizza I have ever seen it was enormous. It was good fun and certainly an adventure.

Dance to Scotland

So a stay in a hotel, an interesting breakfast where there was black pudding and a missing member of the group found later in the room next door. Next stop Scotland! First Glasgow, then some sightseeing and finally rest up for a Ceilidh which was an event for sure. Haggis and tattis then dancing, I got to dance with a nice gentleman in a kilt and by the end of it I’d spun around so many times I nearly fell over. The group dance was fun and we were all out of breath when we sang for them but it was a night of fun and laughter and it was grand.

MSS Tour - North Shields, Southwick

2010-10-08T10:09:00.000+11:00

Our next stop North Shields and all very tired by now it began to rain but the show as always must go on. Here I was billeted with the Corps Officers and what beautiful people. We shared a nice supper with a few laughs and even a guest from the corps. As always though the feeling that the stay was too short again we travelled on.

Comfort zone

Our first night without a concert and a night in a hotel to look forward to we were off to a school in Southwick. I don’t think that morning we understood what it was we were about to experience. The school attached to the Austin House is home to a group of kids who don’t necessarily have the best home lives. I was way out of my comfort zone but after a workshop that went well and a little rest in the teachers’ lounge I braved lunch out with the kids, okay so I hid in a corner. Watching the other Songsters with the kids it did make me smile. The kids just lapped up the attention it was amazing.

Braving the storm

Eventually I was brave enough to let a couple of the girls take some of us on a tour of the school and then going out to take photos of the boys playing I ended up in a never ending game of tig. Once I got over my initial fears it ended up being quite fun and when we had to go inside they all wanted to give me a hug. I couldn’t believe it and after a couple of uncomfortable attempts I found that I wasn’t so uncomfortable anymore.

Believing

We were then to have a community concert with the kids where thanks were offered to people who help out within and for the school. We sang for them and they sang for us. One of the songs they sang for us was a beautiful song about believing in themselves and to hear them sing songs about God it just moved me. I knew that this school was doing what it was supposed to do, encouraging the kids to believe that they could be something and that they are someone.

Changed

So one grumpy, kid-disliking songster, namely me was changed. When I walked into that school I went in with the thought pattern, ‘kids are other people’s problems; I’m never having kids’ I came out wishing I could do more so that more kids would have that kind of encouragement and no longer completely petrified by the idea of children but at peace with God placing children in my life, as long as I have plenty of time to prepare.

That day completely changed my outlook and that night I couldn’t sleep and prayed for hours. It was an interesting time spent with God and it was the beginning of Him calling me closer to Him for a new purpose.

MSS Tour - Norwich, Sheringham, Peterborough, Cradley Heath

2010-10-08T09:34:00.000+11:00

With an encouraging weekend behind us it was onto the bus and off on our whirlwind adventure.

Sights to see

Our first stop of the day was Norwich and our first free exploring time. Some heading to the shops and markets, some to the Cathedral and others to find good coffee but I went in search of postcards and stamps before seeing what interesting things Norwich had to offer. After finding all I needed and checking out the markets a walk to find the Cathedral, my directions not helping in finding it at all but things discovered on the way; a cat in the window of what looked like an interior decorators (it was closed) and the Roman Catholic Cathedral (not quite as epic as the Cathedral sought after). Free time over a short program for the Day Care Centre there, including a boisterous rendition of Tie me Kangaroo Down.

Singing by the Sea

Then back on the bus, no time to spare and off to Sheringham. What a beautiful seaside town it was and the church we held our concert in is stunning. Given a fish and chip dinner and a sold out concert it was amazing. Billets were all lovely again and it seemed like we’d only just got there and we were off again.

A train onward

We left Sheringham with a steam train ride which was fantastic. It was a great start to what was for me one of my worst days. With no voice and general homesickness in toe it was a hard journey that day. On our way we stopped at King’s Lynn for lunch and there found the most magnificent library. It looked like a castle but on the inside was very modern, complete with self check in and out stations. There of course was another beautiful church to look at before we were off again.

Connections

Arrive at Peterborough and another fantastic crowd. Everyone had been so lovely and kind so to find that our billet was the brother of my old Corps Officer was a hoot. What a surprise and what a hospitable family too but alas on the bus again to reach our next stop.

Reconciliation Meditation

Another lunch stop and another Cathedral but in this case Coventry Cathedral the old and the new. Both beautiful structures and what a story; the old Cathedral was bombed and because of some work done to support the roof structure was completely destroyed. Inside was a beautiful statue of two people called reconciliation with a plaque which reads:

“In 1995, 50 years after the Second World War this sculpture by Josefina de Vasconcellos has been given by Richard Branson as a token of reconciliation.

An identical sculpture has been placed on behalf of the people of Coventry in the Peace Garden, Hiroshima, Japan.

Both sculptures remind us that, in the face of destructive forces, human dignity and love will triumph over disaster and bring nations together in respect and peace.”

The new Cathedral is very modern and nothing like the old but still beautiful in its own way. On the floor in one of the areas are the words, “If I your Lord and Master have washed your feet; Ye also ought wash one another’s feet” this place brought for me a time of meditation and as I sat balanced on the top of a concrete ball I had reflected on God’s love and forgiveness.

Old Friends and false starts

We reached Cradley Heath where we went to the Civic Centre for a Mayoral reception and had the privilege of seeing some of the maces and the ornate mayoral chains. At our concert that night I bumped into an unexpected friend, Jono. What a blessing to spend time catching up and reminiscing, it made my night and took away some of that homesickness. That night 7 of us billeted in a share house used for a Podiatry school and that was an experience. The bus died in the night and a jumpstart was required in the morning but we were off again with too little time shared with another group of beautiful people.

MSS Tour - Felixstowe

2010-10-05T16:24:00.000+11:00

Well I’m just back from the Melbourne Staff Songster’s tour of the United Kingdom and thought I’d write down some of what happened. So here it begins.

The journey to the UK

After a long plane ride we were met by Heathrow Airport Chaplains and then guided through customs and taken to our bus where we met Tony our wonderful bus driver. We then began our drive to Felixstowe, our first stop on our Grand Adventure. We enjoyed looking at the scenery and communicating with love ones back home. We found interesting things along the road. There was a van with a huge replica spider on the front, which kept us busy trying to take photos out the bus window.

Who’s that songster?

Arrive at Felixstowe for a nice dinner which we all tried not to fall asleep in. A certain MSS member sat down with a statement along the lines of being too tired to think straight and there was mention of answering any question if asked. Not missing I beat a question was raised and so we discovered that they actually go by there middle name, so here’s a special hi Davo, or whoever you are.

God’s hand

So home to billets, Simone and I met Louise. It seems that from word go God had His hand on the trip because Louise was a beautiful encouragement and we all three of us just clicked. I am sure that we shall be friends for years to come.

You call that a beach?

Day 1 of our trip began with a visit to the promenade, which in England is the beach. It was beautifully manicured and a completely pebble beach. It didn’t look right but I dipped in my toes anyway and it was freezing even in the beautiful English sun, which doesn’t burn at all. We had a big breakfast at 11 O’clock and headed to our first engagement an open air in the main street mall. It was fun and a nice ease into our trip. It was a good way to remind ourselves of some of the songs after not having practice for 2 weeks

Can I keep her?

The weekend went smoothly with a Civic Reception our first concert and two meetings on Sunday. We may have had some initial hiccups but the people of Felixstowe seemed to enjoy it all anyway. I met some lovely people and when giving out Caramello Koalas to kids the most polite little girl and explaining what the chocolate was she said, “Oh, I love caramel!” and I thought for a second despite being adamant I would not have children perhaps I wouldn’t mind if I had one polite little English girl for a daughter. Of course this doesn’t seem like a rational thought but I had it none the less.

It was a great start to our tour and I was sad to leave on the Monday but Felixstowe will hold a special place in my heart as I’m sure it will for the other songsters.

When I Don't Know What to Do

2010-08-09T23:16:00.000+10:00

One of the songs we sing in Songsters is called 'When I Don't Know What to Do' and it really struck me this weekend in the busiest and most stressful couple of weeks. Here are the words:

Lord I surrender all
To Your strong and faithful hand
In everything I will give thanks to You
I’ll just trust Your perfect plan

When I don’t know what to do
I’ll lift my hands
When I don’t know what to say
I’ll speak Your praise
When I don’t know where to go
I’ll run to Your throne
When I don’t know what to think
I’ll stand on Your truth
When I don’t know what to do

Lord I surrender all
Though I’ll never understand
All the mysteries around me
I’ll just trust your perfect plan

As I bow my knee
Send Your perfect peace
Send Your perfect peace Lord
As I lift my hands
Let Your healing come
Let Your healing come to me

By Tommy walker

It's a dating 'rant-page'...

2010-07-28T18:55:00.004+10:00

I am seriously wondering how it is that people manage to meet, fall in love and get married these days. It seems like a hard task to me.
Chatting with one of our book suppliers today I went on a little rant about men and thought I’d share some of what I thought were the more profound things that came up… and by profound I mean superficial yet important.

Point one – What Date?:
It annoys me when a guy asks you out on a date and said date ends up being along the lines of “Come over, I have pizza in the fridge, we can watch a DVD.”
In response to this kind of behaviour, as a woman of integrity I would just like to say that although we don’t expect the royal treatment for every date and especially not if it doesn’t fit in with the budget a little creativity, some thought and some romance needs to go into it, especially for a first or second date!
Low cost ideas from a girl who doesn’t care about flash is sandwiches at a park, perhaps if you have flowers in your garden you could pick one as a small gift, a free art gallery if she’s interested in those kinds of things.
A little research before a date can go a long way.

Points two – Who woo? and three – Like/Dislike?:
This whole who-chases-who thing is really an issue. I mean some people are quiet old fashioned men who don’t like to be pursued, women who don’t like to pursue and others who don’t really mind either way.
It’s very confusing and how, as Christians, do we decide want an appropriate way to show someone interest is. I am hopeless when it comes to showing guys I like that I like them… and yet as a friendly person who will talk to anyone every guy I’m not interested in thinks I like them.
I tend to be shy around the guys I like so I’m not really someone who’s comfortable with, ‘Wanna grab coffee sometime?’ scenario. Is it okay for women to pursue the men they’re interested in… is it case by case… will the shy ones get left behind… should I flash a ‘Like’ sign when an interesting male comes my way…
I must say though it’d be nice to have someone who’s trying to woo me rather than what I usually get. For example the last guy said, ‘Hi, your gorgeous, want to come back to my place?’ … I said no.

Point four – Why believe? and five – Which plan?:
It’s very hard I think to find someone who believes the same as you do, at least as far Christian/Salvo world goes. I mean it almost becomes like divisional and territorial events and camps etc. become prowling zones to find those eligible bachelor/bachelorettes and it just seems so unnatural and like it’s forced. In this world I think it’s hard to find someone you naturally click with who has similar beliefs.
It’s hard for me to find people who have similar beliefs with that I can form a romantic connection with in a naturally way and I don’t want to force a connection with someone just because they share beliefs that I have.
It’s all in God’s plan and in God’s time is a big one that comes into it at this stage of the game and I suppose trusting God’s plan is always right but where does God’s plan end and free will begin in the Christian walk? Did Mum choose to love by free will or was she destined to love Dad? Should I be entering into a relationship based on logic or emotion or a combination of the two?

To end this thought provocation I had with our book supplier two thing he had put in. I had mentioned that there was a guy currently seeking my attention romantically and that he was a nonbeliever, and his response was, ‘Good Christian girl like you – can’t have that’ and he’s not a believer either. He then proceeded to give me advice in what’s on boys like that’s minds and some of the indicators of that and suggested I where a sign that said, ‘I don’t put out’. Interesting discussions for a Wednesday afternoon…

Failbooking!!!

2010-05-25T22:11:00.000+10:00

It's Algebraic!? I love it.

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OK GO, On The Treadmills

2010-01-07T10:26:00.001+11:00

I think it's time to get fit, plans for 2010 is to start running and maybe at the end of the year enter a race! Some inspiration is needed... music might help... check this out!!!

Father's Day Up!

2009-09-07T00:33:00.003+10:00

For father's day I took Dad to see Up in 3D and here is just some of the hilarity that ensued in some fantastic script writing; Russell: Sit boy. [Dug sits] Russell: Hey look, he's trained! Shake. [Dug shakes his paw] Russell: Uh-huh. Speak. Dug: Hi there. Russell, Carl Fredricksen: [surprised exclamations] Carl Fredricksen: Did that dog just say "Hi there"? Dug: Oh yes. Carl Fredricksen: Whaa! Dug: My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you. [he jumps up on Carl] Carl Fredricksen: Wha... Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel! [looks to distance for a few seconds] Dug: My master is good and smart. Carl Fredricksen: It's not possible! Dug: Oh it is because my master is smart!

I will sing praise

2009-08-28T02:18:00.001+10:00

I will sing praise, I will lift my voice,
I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice.
I will sing praise in all I do.
I will sing praise to you.

No matter the storms that come my way,
No matter the trials I may face,
You promised that you would see me through.
So, I will trust in You.

I will sing praise, I will lift my voice,
I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice.
I will sing praise in all I do.
I will sing praise to you.

No matter the storms that come my way,
No matter the trials I may face,
You promised that you would see me through.
So, I will trust in you.
I will trust in you.

I will sing praise, I will lift my voice.
I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice.
I will sing praise in all I do.
I will sing praise to you.

I will sing praise to you.
I will sing praise to you.

Copyright ©2002 Tayken Music / BMI /Experience Worship Music Publishing / ASCAP.

Are you serving the Father?

2009-01-16T12:55:00.000+11:00

Must we be kind to the poor?
Must we help the homeless and give of ourselves to others?
Will it impact the kingdom of God?
Is being saved not enough?
Do we really need to serve others?

YES, ONE THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!

Read the following scripture and tell me if you think you'll be rewarded in heaven just because you gave your heart to Jesus without serving His people and His purpose.

The Sheep and the Goats

"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:

I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,
I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes,
I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.'

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—

I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'

"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'

"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'

"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."

Matthew 25:31-46

I am, therefore I think...

2009-01-09T15:17:00.000+11:00

“Why do vegetarians propose a different set of rules for non-human animals? After all, humans are animals too. Why is it all right for a lion to kill and eat an antelope when it isn’t for a human? Some people answer that ‘We do not need to eat meat,’ but why does that matter?”

Alexander George: That we don’t need to eat meat matters because it means that the harm that we cause to animals by eating them (depriving them of their lives and usually subjecting them to torturous treatment) is something we could avoid. We are, after all, responsible for the avoidable harm that we cause.

And what about the animals? Are they excused their eating of other animals because they can’t help it? That strikes me as an odd thing to say. Animals can’t be held morally accountable; they simply aren’t’ the kinds of creatures that can be morally blamed for what they do. (Which doesn’t mean that we can’t be held accountable for what we do to them.) So, it’s weird to talk about their being exculpated by the fact that, say, they are carnivores. Non-human animals simply aren’t in need of exculpation: they aren’t the kinds of creatures that can be blamed or praised in the first place.

Peter Lipton: Animals are not morally accountable: they cannot be morally blameworthy (or praiseworthy). What is harder to explain is why we don’t have a responsibility to prevent animals from hurting each other. This is an unnatural thought, yet perhaps technically we would have this responsibility, if we could also find an alternative diet for the natural carnivores. But given our own awful treatment of animals, we should perhaps concentrate on getting our own act together first.

George, A. I am, Therefor I Think: Philosophers Answer Your Questions About Love, Nothingness, and Everything Else… Great Britain: Hodder & Stoughton; 2007.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Genesis 1:28

‘Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.’

Marcus Aurelius

awdl tua mam-gu

2008-12-10T13:50:00.001+11:00

In honour of Grandma

by Letitia Rowe

I remember when I was seven,

I met you in the north,

I hadn’t known what to expect,

I’d spoken to you on the phone,

I loved my Christmas Bear but…

How do you love someone you’ve never met?

You played Grandma very well,

I guess you’d had some practice,

It’s the little things I remember,

The way you seemed to be looking out for me,

And then we went back home and I guess…

I can love you, now we’ve met

Many year have passed and I’ve learnt so much,

I never really knew you but I heard a bit,

Once or twice I thought I couldn’t like you,

And now you're gone, I don't no where but...

I know I love you

What's in a name?

2008-11-27T00:32:00.000+11:00

God calls you by name and there is reason and meaning behind your name.

"As for me, this is my covenant with you: You will be the father of many nations. No longer will you be called Abram ; your name will be Abraham, for I have made you a father of many nations. I will make you very fruitful; I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you."

Genesis 17:4-6

Abram: means exalted father

Abraham: means father of many

After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses' aide:I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea on the west. No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. "Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites.

"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:1-9

Joshua: means God is Salvation

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

Ruth 1:16-17

Ruth: means Friendship

There are no coincidences, only God-incidences.

Believe it.

God is Good - Believe it

2008-11-26T14:37:00.000+11:00

Check this out...

'for just such a time as this'

2008-11-17T15:55:00.000+11:00

I have not blogged in awhile I know. I have had a severe case of writers block and the end of year blues.

I have been thinking recently about the story of Esther. I was thinking about how everything was planned out and how she was put in a place where she could make the most impact. She was queen for a reason. The king favoured her for a reason. Mordecai adopted her for a reason. There was purpose, a plan.

Then Mordecai sent back word to Esther: "Just because you live in the king's palace, don't think that out of all the Jewish people you alone will escape. If you keep quiet at this time, someone else will help and save the Jewish people, but you and your father's family will all die. And who knows, you may have been chosen queen for just such a time as this."

God's got it all under control and He has a plan for us. We were put where we are 'for just such a time as this.' We need to stand for the things we believe and speak/act even though we are afraid because we are here 'for just such a time as this.' Do you believe it? Do you know God has a plan for you?

Believe me He has a plan beyond all our Earthly dreams. So many times I have heard stories where plans have changed or people have shown up by some fluke and they have been exactly what was needed in situations. We are placed where we are 'for just such a time as this.'

Believe it.

Valued Friendship

2008-11-05T15:03:00.001+11:00

How much value do you put on your friend’s friendship? In a world where we are so busy doing our ‘own thing’ how much value do you put on keeping in touch with friends and spending sometime on how ‘their things’ are going? What if we were to put a $ value on it? Is it worth?

An email or some chatting time online
Your ‘free’ minutes/messages you get on your mobile
25c the value of a text message
50c the value of a multimedia message (because you have a lot to say/like to share a picture or two)
A 5-10 min call averaging $2.00-$8.00
TOO LONG ON THE PHONE, resulting in no credit left – going over your cap – or the ‘oh oh’ when the bill comes

Just a thought...

Fat Baby

2008-10-09T22:23:00.002+11:00

Amy Grant

I know a man, maybe you know him, too.
You never can tell; he might even be you.
He knelt at the altar, and that was the end.
He's saved, and that's all that matters to him.

His spiritual tummy, it can't take too much.
One day a week, he gets a spiritual lunch.
On Sunday, he puts on his spiritual best,
And gives his language a spiritual rest.

He's just a faaa...
He's just a fat little baby!
Wa, wa, waaaaa....
He wants his bottle, and he don't mean maybe.
He sampled solid foods once or twice,
But he says doctrine leaves him cold as ice.
Ba, ba, ba, ba...ba, ba...ba, ba!

He's been baptized, sanctified, redeemed by the blood,
But his daily devotions are stuck in the mud.
He knows the books of the Bible and John 3:16.
He's got the biggest King James you've ever seen!

I've always wondered if he'll grow up someday.
He's momma's boy, and he likes it that way.
If you happen to see him, tell him I said,
"He'll never grow, if he never gets fed."

He's just a fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fa-at, fat...
Fat, Fat, Fat, Fat, Fat, Fa-at, Fat...
FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAT, FAAAAAT...
...little baby...

Listen here...

Made in His Image

2008-10-01T12:20:00.000+10:00

God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature so they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, and, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth." God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God's nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth."

Then God said, "I've given you every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth And every kind of fruit-bearing tree, given them to you for food. To all animals and all birds, everything that moves and breathes, I give whatever grows out of the ground for food." And there it was.

God looked over everything he had made; it was so good, so very good! It was evening, it was morning— Day Six.

Genesis 1:26-31

We are made in God's image, just like God, to do His will and to look after His creation. We are His hands and feet in this world. God chose us to look after His creation, to be His representative - to re-present His image - love, kindness, mercy, hope, faithfullness, forgiveness, etc. Why should we take caring for others and fighting for justice seriously? Because it was what we were created for. Imagine to be so much the likeness of God that creation looks at us - double take - "Oops, for a second I thought that was God" That is how it should be so in line with God's will that noone can tell where we start and God finishes. Are you God's hands, feet and heart to your family, community, nation, world? There's one certainty, if you're human and you are not living in the image of God, you are not what you were made for.

Make your own banner at MyBannerMaker.com!

Ask and you shall recieve...

2008-06-27T11:26:00.000+10:00

Well last night was an amazing night! I went with James and Simon to Catch the Fire for their revival meeting and an awesome time of prayer. Pastor Danny spoke about the feeding of the 5000. He stated that, 'Jesus knew what He was going to do' He knew He was going to perform a miracle, He just needed someone to step up and give what they had so He had something to do it with. Amazing, so simple yet so profound. Anyway the prayer was my favourite part people were prayed for, asking for healing and deliverence. One lady who has been having some really bad struggles in life was there and a lot of people prayed for her. I spent sometime on my own praying for her also and I prayed that God would send her Angels to protect her, Angels of hope and Angels of peace. For the first time I think in... well ever... I felt in my spirit the Lords, 'Yes'. I know He sent 4 Angels to her last night, I don't know when they arrived, I don't know how to tell if there's an Angel in the room but I know God sent them because I asked. I know many people would say I was niave for believing this especially as I have no proof and I don't even have a strong gift of discernment but my spirit and God's Spirit in me says, 'Yes, they came when I called'. Faith leads me most often and without faith and hope we aren't going to be very strong people for God.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:12-13

Building Up Each Other - Ready to Forgive

2008-05-21T12:42:00.003+10:00

Dear Father, giver of great joy, I hope that in my effort to get others to live for you that I will never lord it over their faith. Help me work with them for their joy. Let them stand firm in freedom in their faith. Help my contacts with them not cause pain, but let my joy be their joy, and let their joy be my joy! Help us to work together in a common goal in the Lord. Help us work for each other's upbuilding in holiness. In the name of Jesus and in full confidence of salvation through him I ask all these things. Amen. I call God as my witness that it was in order to spare you that I did not return to Corinth. Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith you stand firm. So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you. For if I grieve you, who is left to make me glad but you whom I have grieved? I wrote as I did so that when I came I should not be distressed by those who ought to make me rejoice. I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy. For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you. Forgiveness for the Sinner. If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

2 Corinthians 1:23-2:11

Dear Father, God of forgiveness, Father, help me, when someone sins, to encourage him or her to repent, then to forgive and comfort that person in your love. Help all Christians to affirm such loving forgiveness and to comfort each other so that Satan will not gain the advantage over us, for we are not ignorant that his designs are that we should be unforgiving. In the name of Jesus and in full confidence of salvation through him I ask all these things. Amen.

High Demand

2008-05-20T14:54:00.005+10:00

You know I really do understand the story in the bible about the widow who goes to the uncaring judge and persistently asks him for justice to be served until he finally gives in and gives her what she wants.

Today we had a cake for staff for an orientation session in the library and we left on the bench after and a student saw it and asked, persistently for 20 minutes, for a piece. I nearly gave in knowing full well it was not my cake to give.

How true is it that if we ask enough we get what we want? Sometimes we must make it seem like we will never stop but it works. It makes me think.

Why do we think we can't change the world? We could make Cadbury's fair trade if we hounded them enough!!! We could get stricter laws for the slave trade or more money put towards pulling people out of slavery if we hounded governments and the rich enough!!!

Why do we sign one petition and say, "Well I've done all I can do" Have you really? If one person asks a store about a product that's out of stock do you think the store immediately replenishes stocks? No! Because it's not in high demand!

We need to put Justice and Mercy in high demand!!!

Amos 5:21-24

"I can't stand your religious meetings.

I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.

I want nothing to do with your religion projects,

your pretentious slogans and goals.

I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,

your public relations and image making.

I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.

When was the last time you sang to me?

Do you know what I want?

I want justice—oceans of it.

I want fairness—rivers of it.

That's what I want. That's all I want.

Believing God Loves

2008-05-07T11:13:00.000+10:00

15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. 16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

John 3:16

Peace and Joy
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:1-8

38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39

3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

Ephesians 2:3-5

LOVE NEVER ENDS

2008-04-28T15:01:00.002+10:00

1 Corinthians 13:8-13 Dear Father, O God of love! Let me possess love, for love never ends. I know that prophecy, tongues, and knowledge will pass away, for they are all incomplete and unfinished. When the complete and perfect comes, everything incomplete and unfinished will be gone. Enable me to put away the things of childhood - the way I reasoned, the way I spoke - and help me become mature. Now I see through a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall understand, even as I have been fully understood. Faith, hope, and love are the truly enduring qualities, but you proclaim love the greatest. Fill me with love! In the name of the loving Jesus and by his authority I come to you, asking these things according to his will. Amen.

Morning & Evening by Charles Spurgeon

2008-04-16T14:18:00.001+10:00

EVENING: April 10

"For there stood by me this night the angel of God." Acts 27:23

Tempest and long darkness, coupled with imminent risk of shipwreck, had brought the crew of the vessel into a sad case; one man alone among them remained perfectly calm, and by his word the rest were reassured. Paul was the only man who had heart enough to say, "Sirs, be of good cheer." There were veteran Roman legionaries on board, and brave old mariners, and yet their poor Jewish prisoner had more spirit than they all. He had a secret Friend who kept his courage up. The Lord Jesus despatched a heavenly messenger to whisper words of consolation in the ear of his faithful servant, therefore he wore a shining countenance and spake like a man at ease. If we fear the Lord, we may look for timely interpositions when our case is at its worst. Angels are not kept from us by storms, or hindered by darkness. Seraphs think it no humiliation to visit the poorest of the heavenly family. If angel's visits are few and far between at ordinary times, they shall be frequent in our nights of tempest and tossing. Friends may drop from us when we are under pressure, but our intercourse with the inhabitants of the angelic world shall be more abundant; and in the strength of love-words, brought to us from the throne by the way of Jacob's ladder, we shall be strong to do exploits. Dear reader, is this an hour of distress with you? then ask for peculiar help. Jesus is the angel of the covenant, and if his presence be now earnestly sought, it will not be denied. What that presence brings in heart-cheer those remember who, like Paul, have had the angel of God standing by them in a night of storm, when anchors would no longer hold, and rocks were nigh.

"O angel of my God, be near, Amid the darkness hush my fear; Loud roars the wild tempestuous sea, Thy presence, Lord, shall comfort me."

To find peace...

2008-04-14T11:13:00.003+10:00

Click to find inner peace...

Inner peace is not found by clicking a button on your computer. Nor is it found in Tarot Readings, Shakra or any other 'earthly' methods. True Peace is found in Jesus!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4: 6-7

Selfless Worship - Part 2

2008-04-08T11:58:00.001+10:00

Are you concerned about what people think of you when you worship in church? Are you worried that if you let yourself go and danced for Jesus people would think you were uncoordinated or gangly? Do you stop yourself from expressing your love of God because people might be watching? Don't be afraid! Don't let other peoples views stop you from worshiping! Meet Rach, Shach and Benny:

Furious with rage, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. So these men were brought before the king, and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace.

Daniel 3: 13-20

These men had something to fear but still forgot about themselves and their concerns and worshiped God wholly! Selfless worship isn't just about stripping away our own 'glory' we must strip away everything that clings to us and keeps us from falling face down before the Father.

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Luke 18: 9-14

Don't believe that any one church knows the exact formula for true, selfless worship. God doesn't want 500 people all worshiping Him exactly the same way. He wants 500 unique worshipers who aren't afraid to forget about what people think of them and fall down before Him offering everything they have, never holding anything back or wanting any of thier own 'glory'.

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.

John 4: 23-24

Selfless Worship - Part 1

2008-04-04T11:56:00.000+11:00

Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner." Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said. "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Luke 7: 36-50

Do you wonder why Jesus stood up for this woman and forgave her sins? Does it may you uncomfortable when people strip away all pride and throw themselves at Jesus feet? Do you find yourself thinking that there are people who could spend more time 'doing' things in the church? God loves it when we forget ourselves and fall at His feet and it makes the people who can't or won't uncomfortable. Are you feeling uncomfortable now? I can tell you now, you can 'do' church all you like, you'll get no glory and your not letting God's Glory show. Forget yourself, let God's Glory shine!

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

John 4: 23

Seek Him!

2008-04-02T12:20:00.000+11:00

Do you seek Jesus daily? Do you take time out to actively seek His face?

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

Revelation 3:19-21

He's there! Seek Him!

Ask, Seek, Knock

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:7-12

Having trouble seeing God in your life? Keep watching!

Watchfulness

"Be dressed ready for service and keep your lamps burning, like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding banquet, so that when he comes and knocks they can immediately open the door for him. It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. I tell you the truth, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them.

Luke 12:35-37

Given up seeking Him because He just doesn't seem to be there? When you stand in front of our Saviour when your judgement comes will he know you if you haven't spent time in prayer getting to know Him?

The Narrow Door

Then Jesus went through the towns and villages, teaching as he made his way to Jerusalem. Someone asked him, "Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?"He said to them, "Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'"But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from.'"Then you will say, 'We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.'"But he will reply, 'I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!'"There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last."

Luke 13:22-30

Seek Him!

Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

Exodus 33:18-23

Moses was not put off by God's no. He wanted to 'See' Him, and 'Know' Him more deeply. When God said, "No" Moses asked again. He sought after God, he didn't throw up a prayer, he got down and dirty, he cried out to God, "Show me Your Glory". God wants to share relationship with us. So He stands at the door and knocks. It is us who must open the door, no matter how rusty the hinges or the junk piled up behind it.

Seek Him!

You will find Him!

I want to hear you Lord...

2008-04-01T10:14:00.002+11:00

From The Salvation Army Song Book

Song 502 Herbert Howard Booth (1862-1926) Let me hear thy voice now speaking, Let me hear and I'll obey; While before thy cross I'm seeking, O chase my fears away! O let the light now falling Reveal my every need, Now hear me while I'm calling, O speak, and I will heed! Chorus Speak, Saviour, speak! Obey thee I will ever, Now at thy cross I seek From all that's wrong to sever. Let me hear and I will follow Though the path be strewed with thorns; It is joy to share thy sorrow, Thou makest calm the storm. Now my heart thy temple making, In thy fulness dwell with me; Every evil way forsaking, Thine only I will be. Let the blood of Christ forever Flood and cleanse my heart within, That to grieve thee I may never More stain my soul with sin. Farewell to worldly pleasure, Farewell to self and pride; How wondrous is my treasure With Jesus at my side.

Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. Psalm 119: 49

Consuming Fire!

2008-03-27T10:26:00.000+11:00

In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favour on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favour.

Genesis 4:3-5a

As we draw closer to God there's smoke. Don't doubt it because any part of us, that is not holy, that comes into contact with His glory turns to ash. An unrepentant heart can't stand the presence of God because when His Glory shines into their lives the earthy flesh starts to burn.

Are you struggling to feel God? Praying for more of His Spirit and it won't come? If you want the fire of the Holy Spirit in your life you need to prepare to be burnt. You must offer yourself up as an offering on God's altar to be a burnt offering. But God's fire will only fall on a worthy offering.

Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come here to me." They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the LORD, which was in ruins. Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD had come, saying, "Your name shall be Israel." With the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahs of seed. He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, "Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood."

"Do it again," he said, and they did it again.

"Do it a third time," he ordered, and they did it the third time. The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.

At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."

Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.

When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!"

1 Kings 18:30-39

God's fire will not fall if the offering is not acceptable. To be a worthy offering we offer our whole selves. We must die to self; let the fire burn away the earthy residue. Lay our selves out completely as sinful man knowing only that in repentance and belief, through Jesus Christ, we will come out of the fire to stand in God's Glory wholly purified.

John answered them all, "I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.

Luke 3:16

Are you prepared to be burnt in order to stand in God's presence? Do you believe that you can walk in righteousness?

You who are far away, hear what I have done; you who are near, acknowledge my power!

The sinners in Zion are terrified; trembling grips the godless: "Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire? Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning?"

He who walks righteously and speaks what is right, who rejects gain from extortion and keeps his hand from accepting bribes, who stops his ears against plots of murder and shuts his eyes against contemplating evil-

this is the man who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. His bread will be supplied, and water will not fail him.

Isaiah 33:13-16

Can't stand the heat? Get out of God's kitchen because he's making Holy, Fired Up Christians that want to Serve Him!

The king's command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, "Weren't there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?"

They replied, "Certainly, O king."

He said, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods."

Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!"

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

Daniel 3:22-27

Raining on the Inside

2008-03-25T11:13:00.000+11:00

By Amy Grant When all goodbyes Are said and done, And nighttime finds you home, Are you all right To spend a night Of being all alone? And do you hide Between the lines Of conversations past? A wall of words, A heart unheard, That hides behind a mask? I'm raining on the inside; My heart wells up with tears that start to pour. I'm raining on the inside, But then Your cries of love break through, And I fall in love with You once more. When friends who care Can't be there To ease away my pain, And peace of mind, It's hard to find, Like sunlight in the rain. God sees my heart, The deepest part, Inside this lonely me, And reachin' in, His love begins To heal the heart in me. I'm raining on the inside; Oh, my heart weels up with tears that start to pour. I'm raining on the inside, But then Your cries of love break through, And I fall in love with You once more. Sometimes we're raining on the inside, And our hearts well up with tears that start to pour. But when we're raining on the inside, Let His cries of love break through, Know that He loves you, once more.... Sometimes I'm raining on the inside, But then Your cries of love break through, And I fall in love with You once more.

Bear Witness

2008-02-23T15:51:00.000+11:00

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:8-11

Last night we had our GAPS meeting in which we are studying Ephesians. There came a verse which caused some confusion and some discussion. This was verse 10:

His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms

It occurred to me in this discussion that when it talks about making known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms God's wisdom it acknowledges the fact that only God knows in complete fullness His own mind. The Angels, even the top/head Angels to not know the fullness of God's plans or the completeness of His wisdom. They know only what He imparts to them. Therefore our lives bear witness and attest to God's plans and Wisdom and the Angels watching over us will sing God's Praises as they see His marvelous work in our lives. Also we bear witness to His Power and His Rule in our lives and in the World so that every devil and demon knows God still holds the victory and they will never win.

That's a mighty witness to bear and I am grateful for the opportunity to show God's work and awesome Power in my life.

Amen

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

Acts 1:8

Going... but when?

2008-02-14T15:24:00.000+11:00

So the welcome to the new cadets was on Sunday night. Naturally that brought out questions of what year candidates might choose to go in. There are a few I know wanting to go in the next few years. I wonder how you know if it's too soon.

When God first called me to Officership I said yes I'll go in as soon as I turn 18… at almost 22 I know that was too soon, I knew it when got my first A1 form. I got it in the mail gave it to Mum and said, I don't want this. It was really scary looking.

Forms, I have an incomprehensible fear of forms. I can't fill out a form on my own, it's impossible for me. I'm gradually overcoming this fear which is important because all application processes involve forms… lots of forms…

College can seem very daunting. I know I'll be fine once I get there, as with all things once I dip my toe in and see that it's not all as bad as my over active imagination makes it out to be I'll be fine. I have no fears about becoming and officer though… my concerns all lie with how I get there. How do I get there?

It's not like I'm going to get a letter in the post one day like Harry Potter. You have been accepted to the Training College, here is your ticket please bring… although it'd be nice if it was that easy. I've got to step out…

Sometimes I think people think becoming an officer is an easy task. I don't think it is. You not only have to say yes to the call you have to go and tell the appropriate people, fill out the forms, make the preparations etc. The call to officership is not something you can just fall into in my mind. You don't wake up one day Captain Joe Blog instead of plain old Joe Blog.

How to accept the call… say yes, go, do. Some people just say yes and expect things to just happen. It's not like that, you have to go and do. Maybe the year is important, it shows your going. Nobody knows until you get there whether or not you've been able to go do.

What year am I going to college?

I'm not saying no to any year. When God calls, I'll go!

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Isaiah 6:8

I'm saved! Don't tell me different!

2007-12-27T23:09:00.000+11:00

Well I have been informed it's high time I blogged again. I suppose it has been awhile and I guess a bit has happened since then. Anyhow much discussion has been happening over various differences of opinion and well I think at times it's gotten a bit heated and pointed. I think in all the your wrong, no your wrong, sometimes we get a little distracted but I hold on to one thing that is mention in this song. No matter what anyone says or thinks, I'm saved and I'm saved by grace alone so no matter what I do or where I go it is my Saviour and my Saviour alone who leads me to my goal, holiness and heaven with every woebegone soul I can take with me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Acts 20:24

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Understanding what I'm saying not what I'm not...

2007-08-05T16:06:00.000+10:00

Hello all!!! I am finally blogging again after sometime of un-blog-y-ness... for meaning please chech Tish's Little-ish Book of Compound-ed Words. So the good news is I am going to be employed full time, what an answer to prayer. I went in to work and found out that I was to be meeting with the Head of Campus and Principal, I thought this would be my final review after my 3 months trial, I suppose it was but anyway I found the other Library Technician had left and they wanted to offer me a full time position, how awesome is God. I start on Monday.

Today I ran Sunday School at Church for the first time at Glenroy. It was good, I got the kids to go through the Lord's Prayer with me and put it into their own words, I forgot to write it down but it went something like this:

Father in heaven,

Great is Your name,

Let heaven come as You want it to,

Please give us our daily needs,

And forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us,

Keep us from sin and save us from evil,

For this is Your Kingdom, Your power and Your glory,

Forever and ever,

Amen

I was really proud of them, espeially some of the younger guys who could recite the Lord's prayer.

I was watching Home Improvement, which I bought on DVD, last night and one of Wilson's, oh so wise, tips for Tim was that often men, when telling women about mechanical things etc., talk jargon in order to make them feel inferior and they should learn to use everyday language that women can understand. Well I find that often in the church, not always, people talk with big words and Christian-ese jargon people don't understand, they maybe able to quote the bible chapter and verse but do they know what the core truths are? So my aim for the kids in our church is to teach them in a way, using language they understand, they can grasp and apply these things and I know they can because they did it today. I'm so proud of them.

I Speak Therefore I Cannot Walk - Foot in Mouth Syndrome

2007-06-15T09:08:00.000+10:00

Okay apparently I don't blog enough, not for lack of trying, I have no internet at home, the school blocks blogger and my email, so all I have is the library which is very dificult to get it's either in the morning Monday, Wednesday or Friday or straight after work Monday, Wednesday or Thursday, which means a late tea and a very hungry Tish. The libraries open Satrurday mornings but that's when I clean the house (yes Simon I clean, not necessarily well but I do) and go shopping (for groceries). Anyway I blabbering now. I thought I'd just talk about what's been happening, mainly because I can't think of anything particularly brilliant off the top of my head. You know it's funny, if someone hears someone saying something mean about someone they often go to someone else and talk about how horrible they were to do such a thing. Does the fact that the first person was in the wrong justify the second person? Okay I say some pretty stupid things, it comes from talking without really paying attention to what I'm saying. I don't mean half the things I say, especially when I'm annoyed and quite often regret them so when I hear someone else talking badly about someone I try not to be annoyed or dislike them because of it but instead try to encourage them to see the good things in that person, of course it doesn't always work and sometimes I keep my mouth shut but we should be encourages not people who tear people down. I hate that feeling, when someone says you're being horrible or tells someone else you've been nasty, makes me feel like noone likes me and their all gossiping about me behind my back and just putting on a front of being nice to me. I'd much prefer people to say 'hey, back up, try and see the good things' or even better 'why are you upset?' Okay anyway those are some thoughts before I start to rave. Anyway I try to remember that doing something about the things I don't like starts with, 'Am I doing that to others?' Thing to learn this week, if possible, maybe this year: Learn to watch what I say. Is it encouraging? If not, throw it away. Will it hurt someone? If yes, throw it away. Would I want to listen to talk like that? No, throw it away.

TAGGED!!!

2007-06-13T10:48:00.000+10:00

Apparently I have been TAGGED! Thanks Simon and James! Ask a librarian sitting in the library to pick up the closet book to them and you have a dilemma!? The rules: grab the book closest to you. Turn to page 161. Print the 5th complete sentence on your blog. Tag 5 others. So from the top of the pile of books I was about to catalogue: “She just smiled, and said that next time we’d have to plan a little more carefully.” I’m going to tag: Talia, Lauren… um… Dad, Mum… ah… Kat (even if you haven’t blogged in almost a year) There, that’ll do. Anyway my time is up at the library, see ya’ll next time!

BookCrossing... the Travelling Word

2007-05-25T19:08:00.000+10:00

At work today Nikki, who volunteers in the library told us about a website called BookCrossing. Anyway she explained as releasing a book for others to read and I went to the website in search of more information. http://www.bookcrossing.com/ What is BookCrossing? n. the practice of leaving a book in a public place to be picked up and read by others, who then do likewise. (added to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary in August 2004) The "3 Rs" of BookCrossing... 1. Read a good book (you already know how to do that) 2. Register it at BookCrossing (along with your journal comments), get a unique BCID (BookCrossing ID number), and label the book 3. Release it for someone else to read (give it to a friend, leave it on a park bench, donate it to charity, "forget" it in a coffee shop, etc.), and get notified by email each time someone comes here and records a journal entry for that book. And if you make Release Notes on the book, others can Go Hunting for it and try to find it! Okay so that explains what BookCrossing is. Out of interest I looked up the leader board for the Most Travelled books and here are the top 10: Most Travelled Books (by number of members making journal entries) 1 Der seltsame Bücherfreund / Hoffnung's Constant Readers [BookRing] by Gerard Hoffnung 251 2 A Passage to India by E.M. Forster 131 3 Mrs. Biddlebox by Linda Smith 116 4 Apocalisse 23 by Michele Fabbri 114 5 Skyring's Convention Journal by As Many BookCrossing Friends As Possible! 86 6 Little Johnnie and the Naughty Boat People by Christopher Milne 68 7 Angel Fire East by Terry Brooks 65 8 Book Lust: Recommended Reading for Every Mood, Moment, and Reason by Nancy Pearl 57 9 Backspin by Harlan Coben 51 10 Menopaws: The Silent Meow by Martha Sacks 46 So I thought I’d have a look and see if the Bible had been ever registered and released. I found “Bible” had been registered 27 times and of those 27 had only 1 journal entry. “The Bible” had 21 entries with just one journal each. “The Holy Bible” had 43 entries again all with only one journal. They all fell under varying statuses, such as travelling, available and permanent collection. All coming from various places all over the world but isn’t it interesting. People have tried to leave their Bibles for people to read, whether they’re being picked up and read I don’t know, it is a big read so I’m sure they won’t be released again as quickly as some others but what a thought, to leave it somewhere to read even without registering it on BookCrossing. Awhile ago some friends and I left a small Gospel of Mark book out in the street for someone to pick up, someone who perhaps had never heard the gospel. I remember also I once had my Bible and Song Book stolen, I kept them in a bag, so the person probably took it thinking it was a handbag, silly me for leaving it out in the open. I was very upset, more so that they stole my only Song Book I had 3 other Bibles and maybe they needed the Word of God more than me. Interesting isn’t it though, “Releasing” the Word of God in such away, instead of getting out/up and preaching it. You can never be sure someone will pick it up, read it and understand it. It doesn’t seem to me that it’s trying very hard and shouldn’t we as Christians be so filled with love and the Word of God it spills out everywhere and people can’t help but take notice of God in our lives. Interesting, though, very interesting. How are you ‘Releasing’ the Word of God into the world? Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly. It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defence of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Philippians 1:14-18a

Watch this space...

2007-05-23T13:53:00.000+10:00

New Blog Comming in 1 Day!!!

Woo Hoo!!!

2007-04-16T14:32:00.000+10:00

Well hello all. I bet you were all wondering what happened with that interview last week. Well it went really well. I got a call on Friday asking how soon I could start and today I got a call to confirm how things would go head. Well on Wednesday I begin work at 12:15 pm and work til 5 pm, I do this on Thursday and Friday as well as Monday and Tuesday next week. I will be doing this on a casual hourly rate while they get the contracts and everything together and all things being equal I start my official part time job on the 30th of April. It's 4 3/4 hours 5 days a week. I will be the Library Technician at the Magid Institute of the King David School in Armadale, that's the senior school by the way. Yay, I'm very excited. Thank you all for your prayer. By the way my car is happily repaired and running as smooth as ever, $377 dolars later, but I love her. Keep praying I do well at my job, after all I still have to get through the 3 month trial period, pray I don't get sick perhaps, so that I don't need to take any days off. Yay!!!

By Popular Demand...

2007-04-04T09:32:00.000+10:00

Well my interview on Friday went extremely well, so well in fact that before I even got in there I had a call for another interview, lol. I guess getting that second interview just helped to boost my confidence that little bit more because I am not a big fan of going to places I've never been before. Anyway, I got there nice and early and they started the interview early because I was there. It went really well. I answered there questions clearly and asked for clarification if I wasn't sure what they were asking. I got some really positive responses like, "That's the answer we were looking for." So after about 15 minutes and having a bit of a chat I went up to another section and did a shelving exercise. I managed to get the five boxes of books sorted, corrected a few mistakes, just before my 15 minutes was up. I was really pleased. Anyway I'll hear from them after Easter, hopefully with good news. It's at Vic Uni Sunbury campus, 9 hours a week. It's a foot in the door. My other interview is next Wednesay at 10:45 am at the King David School. It's part time works out to roughly 3 days a week but I can spread it out a little if I get the job. Anyway keep praying and pray for my car, my radiator craked and now I'm carless again after just getting it back from having the back fixed. Hope all is well with everyone who reads this.

Blessings, Tish

Answered Prayer!!!

2007-03-29T14:48:00.001+10:00

Praise Jesus for answered prayer. I have an interview!!! I am so very excited and I really hope I do well. I can't wait to get there, do my best and find out if I get the job. Thank you all for praying for me and keep praying especially at 10 am tomorrow, Friday 30th March, when my interview is. Perhaps I have found my open door, what do you think James? Yay an interview!!! I was so excited I, accidently, punched a wall... I miss judged where the wall was beside Simon... lol, so very sore and excited!!! Thank you Lord!!!

Well it's been awhile...

2007-03-21T15:35:00.000+11:00

Since it's been nearly a month since I last blogged I thought it best I update. I haven't much time, part of the reason I haven't been blogging. I have no internet at home, due to lack of money, caused by lack of job. Which means I have to go to the library and I'm only allowed an hour. Causing even more havick, this week I have no car which means I've had to get off my lazy butt and walk to the library. Exercise, yuck!!! Anyway back to applying for jobs so I can get paid by centrelink so I can stay alive to look for work so I can get money to live... a vicious circle this world creates. Just as a final note, AGH!!! Another rejection!!!

Happy Birthday!!!

2007-02-26T15:44:00.000+11:00

Well today I have turned 21 this is extremely exciting and quite an event as I never thought I'd make it but I have!!! What has changed since yesturday when I was 20, not a lot yet but we'll see how it goes. Anyway, just a short not to say... Happy Birthday to anyone else born on such a wonderful day and... I'm 21!!!

Elijah, Faith, Fire

2007-01-23T15:07:00.001+11:00

I don't really have a lot of thoughts to share today, in fact I haven't really had any thoughts to share for a while. I think now I don't spend my time studying or researching my brain's turning a bit mushy. I'm looking forward to getting back into our Friday night meetings, GAPS. It's good to get the brain working and get some discussion about God and the bible happening. I guess once the 'Summer Holidays' period is over and everything starts happening again I'll have more to talk about because more things will be happening. Maybe the problem is my brain has gone on holiday? Which reminds me of Elijah teasing the prophets of Ba'al saying "Yell louder, maybe he is on holiday or perhaps relieving himself?" Ha ha, there is only one God and Ba'al was no God. What Faith Elijah had, to pour 7 jars of water over the sacrifice and into a trench around it then just kneel, pray and believe it would happen, the fire would fall, the sacrifice consumed. I want a Faith that strong! To believe that no matter how much 'water' is poured over us God's 'fire' the Holy Spirit would fall and consume us, a living sarifice! Do you believe that it can happen? Sometimes I do, then sometimes I doubt. Elijah doubted, he ran into the desert and asked God to take him away from it all. Yet God still looked after him, blessed him, spoke to him and continued to work in him. It was almost like a father saying to his son, "Now son, I know you know better than this." Many times my parents have said a similar thing to me. Listen to God's call, stop doubting, He will overcome any obstical in His way. So should we pray for more Faith, pray for Faith like Elijah? I'm going to say no, as long as we have Faith in God, He will move mountains. Give us Faith Lord, pour out Your Holy Spirit, consume us Lord! Amen The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. Luke 17:5-6

I'm not dead, I am alive!!!

2007-01-18T13:44:00.000+11:00

In case anyone was wondering, I'm not dead. Just not on the internet. No job means no internet at work, or money to get internet at home so here I sit in an internet cafe checking my emails, because I happen to be in the city and I can. I'll be going to the library a lot more I think. One hour free internet sounds good to me. Anyway, please keep praying I find a job. Anything will do really as long as it's permenant, I don't like being let-go, termenated, whatever you want to call it. I had to get an 'Employment Seperation Certificate' for centrelink, how silly does that sound? I was just working for them, I wasn't living with/married to them. Crazy terminology. Being politically correct takes all the fun out of saying what you mean to say. Anyway so little time, so much to do. Hope to write something more meaningful soon. Love you all! Tish

Let go, Cut off

2007-01-11T13:02:00.000+11:00

Depressed… In one word that is what I am feeling. Yesterday my parents moved to Morwell, which is a little scary not having them around. Then yesterday afternoon at work I was told that after Friday they wouldn’t need me to come back, which absolutely sucks. I knew the job wouldn’t last forever because a temporary job but I was hoping I’d get an interview for the permanent position but no such luck. I’m feeling a bit unappreciated at the moment. Like all the work I’ve done counts for nothing. I guess that’s it though. Please pray I get a job soon, a permanent one, that’s not in Whoop-Whoop. And pray Centrelink doesn’t kick me out on my proverbial backside when I go on Monday. I am so thankful for Simon. He’s really been there for me when I’ve been down so it’s good to have someone to lean on now. I miss my parents though. You’re soon to be cut off from the professional world friend, Tish

A New Year...

2007-01-02T16:17:00.000+11:00

Well it’s official, I am moved out of home! I am renting a lovely house and it’s looking like there’s someone living there. I cooked yesterday and did a load of washing. I even did some gardening! Well I planted some herb seeds in a pot, lol. It’s all very exciting and I’m enjoying the freedom, but not so much that I stay out all night, hi Mum! I guess after the first week or so it will stop feeling like a holiday and start feeling more like home. Of course I haven’t had a chance to get lonely with people dropping in, hi Mum & Simon! Speaking of which, it’s funny because Dad, Mum and myself are not in the least tired, sore or injured from the move, probably because we’re used to moving around a lot and moving heavy objects. Of course the other person who helped me move, who shall remain nameless, tall, dark and handsome, was sore and injured and I think tired too, lol. Anyway, this year has been a good year… so far. I don’t make New Years Resolutions but Mr DC, Major Rodney Barnard, encouraged us in morning prayer today to take on one, ‘To live a life worth passing on’. It’s not a bad idea. Hopefully I’ll get into some ‘real’ blogging soon, catch you guys later!

Christmas Firsts

2006-12-27T09:52:00.000+11:00

Well Christmas is over for another year. I had an interesting Christmas this year. It was the first time I’ve not had Christmas at my house. We went to my Aunts this year because we’re busy packing and Mum and Dad are on holidays. It was nice but different to what I’m used to. In fact we didn’t have a Christmas tree, very peculiar but still nice, after all, the tree doesn’t make Christmas.

It was also the first year we haven’t sung Christians Awake, a horrifying thought I know, not to mention the first time in a good 15 years that I went to a Christmas service not conducted by my parents. Actually sitting next to them instead of poking faces at them from the congregation was a special treat.

As you can tell there have been a lot of firsts this year and I’ve only just gotten up to Christmas lunch! After lunch my Aunts friend from church came over. The first Christmas shared with a non-family member as far as I can recall. Also the first year in a long time I’ve had a nap and my parents haven’t, that was strange.

Now for the final first, and this one was a kind of a big one for me, the first time I joined someone else’s family for Christmas celebrations. Yes this year on Boxing Day Mum, for the first time ever, let me out of the house and I went to visit Simon met his family. All very lovely people just don’t ask me to remember all their names. I’m not used to so many people being around at Christmas time, our little gathering of four or five seems so small now.

It’s funny getting older, I mean now I’m moving out of home and working full time and not spending the whole of Christmas with just my family it’s a bit weird. I’ll get used to it I suppose but it is odd.

Have you had any firsts this year? Something you’ve done that you haven’t done for Christmas before? Perhaps starting a new tradition or just mixing things up?

Anyway hope you all had a good Christmas with family and friends, Merry – belated – Christmas!

This years final... AGH!!!

2006-12-20T16:11:00.000+11:00

AGH!!! Those are my thoughts on the job-hunting, applying, interviewing process in full. I have a job, temporary casual, which is great. I have applied for the permanent position but it’ll be a little while before I find out if I’ve got an interview let alone the actual job. All in all it makes life difficult with my parents moving in 21 days. And so we come to my thoughts on packing and finding somewhere to live… AGH!!! It looks a lot like my thoughts on the job-hunting etc. process but in my head it sounds different. It’s a rather stressful time and it’s starting to get to me a bit, which the guys at Glenroy found out last night when I had an argument with Tibby my tuba and he won!? So after spitting the dummy and almost bursting into tears of frustration I calmed down a bit and had a chat to Simon and felt much better. It really doesn’t pay to keep things bottled up. So I guess I leave it all in God’s hands and pray that whatever happens it all works out in His perfect way. But in the meantime… AGH!!!

This years initial thoughts on singleness...

2006-12-13T21:08:00.000+11:00

Well is not life interesting? I love my life, I love my work, I love my church, I love my family, I love my friends, I love my boyfriend… oh wait… I don’t have one of those. I know the shock is incredibly unbearable I haven’t had a boyfriend for… something like 11 months, 1 week and 1 day. Incredible isn’t it? Well it’s probably been a little less time since my last date, which was maybe 10 months and 1 week ago. I like numbers, like it’s been nearly 9 months since I’ve been asked out, also note it’s been 9 months since Easter. Maybe Christmas is just the holiday to start some counters again… or at least the asked out one, I’m starting to think I don’t have enough single friends, just kidding. I’m actually really proud of myself because I used to get really antsy after a month of being single and look how far I’ve come and I’m actually enjoying it, not to the point that if someone appropriate came my way I’d say no, but I don’t feel the need to actively put myself out there. I’ve also learnt that it’s a lot nicer and safer to wait and get to know someone before you go barrelling into a full on relationship. Speaking of counters the engagement count stands at… 12!!! Do you believe it? Gosh and there’s just over 2 weeks left of this year, that means more potential engagements for the 2006 counter. It’s going to be a big year of weddings next year; I know some have been this year but still, lots of weddings. Anyway just a short blog to prove I’m alive and to ask ‘What are your thoughts on romantic relationships for this year?’ Broad topic I know but I’m interested, hope to blog again soon with more thoughts from this year.

Some reflections of this year...

2006-12-07T00:54:00.000+11:00

Well I have some news that I think is worth sharing today. I have finished TAFE forever and I’ve passed everything. I got nothing below a credit and 5 distinctions go me! I have a temporary job working as a receptionist/administrative assistant, which is fantastic. I’m going to apply for a permanent position, it’s not library work but I think I’ll enjoy it anyway, we’ll see how it goes. So that’s the exciting news for today. It is apparent from the comments I got on my last blog that I over analyse things and should stress less. I often come back to the issue of how do people see me. It’s something I think about a fair bit and I worry sometimes that people are talking behind my back and spreading rumours. In the past I’ve had some bad experiences with people spreading rumours about me and it’s hard because I’m not the type of person that thinks about it while I’m doing stuff, it’s usually afterwards that I think, ‘Man, people could have gotten the wrong idea about that.’ And then I beat myself up about it. I used always try to be what I thought other people wanted me to be and then I just got sick of it and decided I was going to what was right for me and not focus on what others thought so much. Truth is it still gets me sometimes as much as I claim I’m an individualist. You know at the start of the year I had no idea I’d be where I am now. I had these plans at the end of last year and in January/February I did this complete about face and now I’m in a completely different place to what I had originally planned. It’s funny because I’m really glad I did and I wonder that if I hadn’t would I have been wondering what if. I took a bit of a leap of faith I think and stepped out of my comfort zone and faced my fears. I had no idea I could do so much and be who I am today. It feels like so long ago that I moved to Melbourne and was completely petrified of the big wide world I was so forcefully thrown into upon finishing high school. Who knew the little mouse of a girl who always followed her mother around could change so much in 3 years. I guess the whole moving out of home thing is making me a little sentimental but if you had told me I’d be moving out of home at 20 and getting a job I’d probably have laughed and said, “Yeah right, try 30!” I’m excited to see what God holds in store for me next year. What challenges will I overcome in His strength? What blessings will I praise Him daily for? Of course sometimes I like to come to God with my little prayer wish list and say, “I’d like this and this if You’re okay with it.” Not very often do I do that but sometimes I do and a lot of the time I find He says yes. I have a feeling just maybe next year I might get an answer to one little request and I’m intrigued to find out what He will say. I get the feeling something good is coming, something big, and I can’t wait to see what it is. God’s got some big plans it feels like I can almost reach out and grab them. I’m excited! I was thinking today how nice it is to have someone I can talk to. I thought that when Kat moved to Western Australia I’d be back to having none but then God provided yet again. I don’t know why He amazes me so, He’s God, I should expect amazing! I’m starting to get into the Christmas spirit, I use the term very loosely; I’ve decked my phone out with a lovely Christmassy ring tone and wallpaper. My Christmas tie is out and ready to wear. Soon I think I’ll dig out my Christmas earrings and get some Christmas decorations happening, just a few. I love Christmas, it’s such a happy time of year with friends and family and SHOPPING!!! Yes, I love Christmas shopping, my only problem with it is lack of funds usually. I really do enjoy it though, right down to Christmas carolling! Joy to the World! On a completely random note, “Hi Simon!” “Hi Cheryl!” “Hi James!” Just in case you’ve stopped by to see what thoughts I have left today, you guys rock!

Do you Love me?

2006-11-29T23:10:00.000+11:00

Ah life… what a funny thing, eh? Yeah, you know sometimes I wonder whose in control of what I do. I mean it’s really peculiar because I want to do one thing and then all of a sudden I realise I’m doing the exact opposite! And there I am thinking, ‘How stupid must I look, really?’ I’m standing there doing what I really didn’t want to, thinking, ‘I look like a right idiot’ and I keep doing it. Blimey what’s the world coming to when your doing something you know you shouldn’t, you’ve clearly thought, ‘I don’t want to be doing this’ and you keep going. It’s completely ridiculous, it really is! Anyway that was just a bit of a rant really. Clears the cobwebs out, you know, and anyone with half a brain… ahem… tough crowd. I called my phone a butt-head last night… yes I know it has neither a butt nor a head; apparently it’s the best I can come up with on short notice. I really don’t like people who can think well on the spot. You ask me a question on the spot and I say, “No… Yes… What!? Oh dear…” Yes my cunningly sharp wit is staggering… actually it’s looks more like a drunken stupor… in fact I think it’s collapsed!? Comedy doesn’t suit some people apparently… Anyway I’ve been getting rather sick of the meaningless drivel that I write about but the stuff that actually has meaning is the stuff closest to my heart and I’ve been finding it hard lately to just let all that flow out on to the World Wide Web… I think it’s the worldwide that’s got me a little on the shy side. Now I know that the whole world doesn’t read this but… well I know of about 3… maybe 4 people who read it… so I think if I’m going to broadcast it to them, why not in close proximity? I’ve been finding it hard lately because I don’t have any really close girl friends I can talk to in Melbourne. I’ve not really found this a problem before because I get along great with my guy friends and I’m not overly girly… I don’t think… maybe they just don’t like to say. Anyway I sort of wanted to talk about something with someone and it’s not something I think I want open up to my closest guy friend about just yet. I feel kind of whiny. I haven’t really had the opportunity to talk to someone about some of the stuff that’s been going on in my head lately and well people have been noticing me being a bit more random than usual. You see I have this friend that I care about heaps. I reckon they know how much I care for them but I kind of feel a bit stupid in caring for them. I’m not exactly sure where I stand with them. Like they say they appreciate the friendship, they think its great I care, they wouldn’t like it if I left… it just feels like words. I mean I don’t if they care for me or if they’re just putting up with me because they have to… maybe I’m just missing it completely… I just thought that if you cared in anyway, shape or form you’d tell them or shoe them somehow… I try to show people I care about them… sometimes I think they miss it though… do they really know I care? Are the things I say to them just words? I feel like sometimes I seem too clingy or needy or something, I’m like a little kid that comes up to their mum every 5 minutes and says, “Mummy? Do you love me?” Do you know that bit in Fiddler on the Roof when Tevye sings to Golde ‘Do you love me?’ Anyway in the end of it they sing ‘It doesn’t change a thing, But even so, After twenty-five years, It's nice to know.’ It’d be nice to know, I mean even if you show how much you care for someone by the things you do, I think telling them every once in awhile would be nice too. Just so they know, without a doubt. But then again maybe I have indigestion!? I was feeling a little down on myself the other day. See I get a little jealous sometimes when my friends spend time with other people and praise them saying how wonderful they are, I know I shouldn’t and it usually only takes a second before I shake it off but I was thinking about all these wonderful girls out there. I got a little down because I was like, I’m nothing special, how do I compete with these amazing women of God? I know I don’t have to compete with am I don’t want to but it just really got me down. I feel sometimes like I need a little book of all the nice things anyone’s ever said about me to reread when I’m feeling down. We did an icebreaker at TAFE a while back where we had to write down nice things about people. Mine said something along the lines of, ‘You have nice hair’, ‘I like what you do with your hair’, ‘You have great confidence to do interesting things with your hair’ etc. etc. etc. It reminds me of a song by India Arie ‘I am not my Hair’ I mean yes the blue was distinctly me, the curls do look good, straight isn’t bad to, yes when my hair is all back it looks nice, when I have a fringe it is pretty cool but really, it’s hair!? It could all fall out tomorrow, will they still like me? Will YOU still like me? I worry so much about what other people think of what I do or say I couldn’t care less what they think about my hair and yet I needn’t worry about it they can’t get past the hair to see me anyway. But then maybe that’s my own fault… I hide behind my bright colours, funny hair do’s, funky hats and odd socks and tights, should I really be surprised people don’t see me through the clever disguise… or possibly blatantly obvious disguise I put on each and every time I leave the house. Who really sees the real me? Who really knows what I’m all about? And why on Earth am I angry at THEM for not knowing? Anyway seeing as I’ve kind gone a bit nuts on the ‘do you love me’, what do you think of me’ theme here’s a little bit of scripture that I’ve always found interesting. Especially seeing as, as Simon said, Jesus knew how much he loved Him, and still He asked him three times. Interesting, yes? John 21:15-19 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."

Broken bread...

2006-11-27T16:17:00.001+11:00

Like most people in this world I have my good days and my bad days. I think yesterday would have been classed as a good day but today is a bad day. Any way I was writing something rather depressing and pretty negative but when I started writing I started singing this song and I thought I'd share because it's a lot better than anything that's been coming out of my head and the tune suits my mood, the songster tune not the song book tune. The songster tune is in a minor key and kind of spooky sounding, I really like it. Any way song number 512 in the song book or on the screen if you prefer.

My life must be Christ's broken bread

by Albert Orsborne

My life must be Christ's broken bread,

My love His outpoured wine,

A cup o'erfilled, a table spread

Beneath His name and sign.

That other souls, refreshed and fed,

May share His life through mine.

My all is in the Master's hands

For Him to bless and break;

Beyond the brook His winepress stands

And thence my way I take,

Resolved the whole of love's demands

To give, for His dear sake.

Lord, let me share that grace of Thine

Wherewith Thou didst sustain

The burden of the fruitful vine,

The gift of buried grain.

Who dies with Thee, O Word divine,

Shall rise and live again.

AMEN

Me and You...

2006-11-19T02:48:00.001+11:00

Okay so it’s been a little while since I blogged last, all of 10 days! I’m getting slack in my ‘old’ age, yes ‘old’! I’m going to be 21 next year and out of home, on my own, yikes! So I watched High School Musical tonight… twice… I taped it… I like musicals… anyway it has some really good songs that you can’t help but tap your foot along to and sing to and if you haven’t picked up where I’m going with this then you must be new to reading my blog… so welcome! One particular song I really liked and not just because I think Vanessa Anne Hudgens is cool, but I liked the lyrics and they appealed to my inner romantic/fairytale/dreamy side, although some would say the dreamy part is often on the outside… but really who can concentrate on occupational health and safety for 2 hours straight? Ahem… so the song… well here are the lyrics I hope you enjoy them as much as I did:

When There Was Me And You

It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside

I'm standing here but all I want is to be over there

Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen

Cause now I have to pretend that I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale

A dream when I'm not sleeping

A wish upon a star that's coming true

But everybody else could tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody that I heard you singing

And when you smiled you made me feel like I could sing along

But then you went and changed the words now my heart is empty

I'm only left with used-to-be's once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale

And dreams were meant for sleeping

And wishes on a star just don't come true

Cause now even I can tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

Cause I liked the view

When there was me and you

I can't believe that I could be so blind

It's like you were floating

While I was falling and I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view

Thought you felt it too

When there was me and you

Being... Doing... Living...

2006-11-09T16:39:00.001+11:00

Ah, yes world it is that time again; time to enter into the dusty, over cluttered attic that is my brain. I’ve been considering lately what it means to be truly selfless and to be wholehearted. These are two interesting things that, as Christians, we are often asked to be, note that it is to be and not do, these things. It’s easy enough to do selfless things and do wholehearted things but doing, in my book, it is no longer enough. I mean Christ didn’t just come to Earth to do the God-on-Earth thing, he came to be God on Earth. So I’ve been thinking, as dangerous as that may be, when I am doing selfless things or doing wholehearted things, am I truly being those selfless things and wholehearted things? My answer is, ‘Ah… yeah… no!’ I’m doing it but I’m not being it.

Moving on from that, I’ve discovered lately that my disorganised nature is making me somewhat claustrophobic. In other words if I don’t get organised and start getting my stuff in some kind of order, I’m never going to have room to move. Also I won’t be able to find anything ever again. So I need to get organised… somehow… soon!

I feel that this blog has somewhat failed in what I first set out to do. Back when I was on MSN spaces before the Internet catastrophe, I set out to spend time talking about my thoughts on God and the Salvation Army. I’ve found that it’s turned into my little journal of my life to the world. Not that it’s a bad thing, necessarily, it’s just interesting how things develop.

I’ve finally started to get my head around all the stuff we learnt at Sanctuary and start applying it. We’ve been putting together a worship evening for Generation where we plan on spending time actively worshiping God in different ways. Hopefully we’re prepared and everything runs smoothly because it can be hard to worship and lead people into worship when things are going wrong. If anyone wants to come it’s at 6pm Sunday 12th of November at Glenroy Salvation Army 134 Cardinal Road Glenroy. It’ll be great because we’re spending time worshiping God and He is awesome!

I thought I’d update on my decision I made the other day concerning someone getting hit with a 2 by 4. It’s not going like I planned. I’m sort of half way to given up but nowhere near moving on yet. I’ve got this struggle inside me where one part of me says, ‘Move on, there’s no hope, you’re making a fool of yourself!’ and another part says, ‘But I can’t help how I feel, their important to me, it’s still possible!’ One will eventually win out. I’ll keep you posted, not that you need to be but I like the idea of recording the developments that come from, me being me.

Well here ends the dusting… it’s a joke… come on you know you want to laugh… no?

I'll break my heart...

2006-11-07T02:46:00.001+11:00

It's not been long since my last post but I couldn't sleep so I started to write carrying on from some thoughts I had earlier. Anyway to share, even though quite probably noone will read this, or at least that's what I presume because people very rarely leave comments or anything.

I'll break my heart

by Letitia

Can you hear me calling your name?
Do you notice me at all?
Am I so ambiguous that you put me out of your thoughts?
Have you noticed me crying?
Have you seen my smiles fade?
I’m alone when I’m with you,
I wish you would hold me but you won’t.
I made a mistake,
I let myself get to close to you and now it hurts to walk away.
If I stay, will it be the same as it’s always been?
I can’t cope, not on my own,
But I can’t make you love me, and I don’t want to.
Do you understand what I’m going through?
Or do you just say you do and hope I’ll stop being angry or sad?
Does anyone ever really listen anyway?
When you smile I crumble,
I forget everything that’s going on and smile with you.
Do you trust me?
It doesn’t feel like you do,
I want to be there for you and help you but I can’t make you open up.
I feel like I’ve allowed you to see me as who I really am in my most vulnerable state.
Yet some how you still manage to be vague and impersonal
Are you like that with everyone?
Am I trying to hard to change you?
Or is it just I’m not perfect enough?
I want to be good enough.
I want to be a good wife and mother to someone one day,
But for now I’ll settle for being a good friend.
Perhaps I think too much about trying to do things for you and be there for you.
I just want to help, but I don’t know how.
I don’t know what you want from me?
Maybe the problem is you don’t want anything from me.
I give up I give in,
I can’t keep this up I still have my life to live.
If you won’t say it I’ll say it for you.
You don’t love me.
You don’t want me.
You don’t need me.
So now my heart is broken, you can leave it.

Unsure...

2006-11-06T19:59:00.001+11:00

I was watching ‘You’ve got Mail’ today. It’s one of my all time favourite movies and I was thinking how peculiar the last scene is where Kathleen finally meets NY152 and it turns out to be Joe. All she can say is “I wanted it so badly to be you.” I mean odd isn’t it that she couldn’t just take him for him. I mean in the scene before she couldn’t forgive him and then all of a sudden she could. It’s really odd.

Life is a bit peculiar. I’m so sick of television, especially soaps! I mean really he loves her, she loves him, that’s his baby, that’s not her baby, that person wants this one dead, is life really like that? I mean how many of us can say in the same week we’ve had a wedding, almost been killed by a stalker and found out that the baby we thought was our husband’s/partner’s isn’t? It’s crazy!

I thought last week would never end. It was a long, tiring and… well… long and tiring is enough. Things just started to look up and then… disaster. Last night was the worst; I’m not sure how I managed to keep my composure… mostly. I nearly passed out. It’s funny, I locked myself in the bathroom for half an hour and, as far as I know, no one came looking for me until they needed me for something. Not that I minded, I wasn’t really up for company, but still it’d be nice to know that someone cared enough to make sure I was alright, I mean it’s not like I’d just popped out for a minute I was gone for half an hour. It makes me wonder that if they hadn’t needed me how long would they have left me locked in the bathroom? Perhaps they were busy. I don’t know what was going I wasn’t there but I’ve been feeling a lot lately that people only really pay attention to me when they need me for something or want something from me. Perhaps I’m paranoid, I just feel a little unloved, that’s not to say I’m not loved because I have a list of people who I know love me and will tell me so even I so much as pout in their presence.

I made a decision earlier this week. I know shocking, I can be really indecisive sometimes. I decided that as it was highly unlikely that someone was going to get hit in the head with a 2 by 4 and realise I was the girl for them I should… I suppose give up and move on. It was kind of a tough decision to make but I guess I made it anyway. Now all I’ve got to do is stick to it. Which is easier said than done apparently. It’s kind of funny because it’s about the fourth time I’ve made this decision. Maybe this time it’ll stick.

Anyway job hunting hasn’t been going overly well. There are not really a lot of jobs on offer and so far I either haven’t heard anything or gotten a sound, no thank you. I sure I get job because I’d like to be able to pay the rent. I don’t want to have to burden my family by moving in with them until I can get a job and having to sponge of them. It just wouldn’t be fair and I’d like to be in an area I choose not live where they are. I guess that’s life though and it’ll end up however it ends up.

I feel so unsure all the time. I just want to be sure for once. Oh well that’s just what’s been going on in my head this week.

Unacceptable...

2006-10-29T16:04:00.001+11:00

Here’s a question that we should be asking ourselves daily, what are my actions and thoughts reflecting? Do they reflect God? Do they affect the people around me? And are they drawing people closer to God or holding them back?

I don’t think I’ve been very helpful. I don’t think my actions and thoughts always show God I love Him and want to serve Him. I think I’ve been holding people back instead drawing them closer to God.

Sometimes I feel so sorry for myself when I should be rejoicing in the good things God is doing but instead I get jealous and envious and sulk. I mean if I want what they’ve got sitting on my butt sulking isn’t going to do anything. I may not ever have what they have but I can do something with what I’ve got can’t I.

This isn’t making any sense is it? I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Everything seems to be going okay and then little things start to go wrong and there’s this little whisper in my ear, “Remember when… this is just like then. Things will never change, you’ll never be good enough.” I’ve always struggled with self-confidence and always put on a front to appear confident so people don’t see my weaknesses. I’m no Einstein, I say and do stupid things and get embarrassed really easily. I keep thinking if I just do this or I just act this way or if I’m just friends with this person, I’ll some how be more confident or appear so. The truth is it doesn’t work. I spend so much time focusing on trying to appear to be something I’m not I push away the people around me and I push away God. I really should just forget about it and focus on God and let Him handle it. After all He made me He knows all my weaknesses and loves me anyway. He also knows my strengths. He knows it all. “Humility is agreeing with God about who He thinks, nay, knows you are.”

I’m sorry for the people I’ve been holding back. I’m sorry to the people I’ve fooled, although I’m not overly good at fooling people, of course I might be better at it than I think. I want the influences I have not to be my own but to be God’s. So I’m baking off, and let God in. I can’t have everything my own way and my ways can end up pretty disastrous. I’ve never been very good and letting God have control, or anyone really.

I’m truly sorry forgive me Father and show me the way to follow You. I love You and want to serve You and put my life completely in Your hands. I’m Yours to use and mould as You see fit. I am not worthy but You are. Thank You.

Amen

Lemonade

2006-10-26T21:30:00.001+10:00

Well every so often I hear a song I really like and I just can't help but share it with the world. This week I found a few sung by a guy called Chris Rice, check out www.chrisrice.com if you wanna know more. Anyway I might post a couple more later but for now here's one I really liked.

Lemonade
Chris Rice

So go ahead and ask her

For happy ever after

‘Cause nobody knows what’s coming

So why not take a chance on loving

Come on, pour the glass and tempt me

Either half-full or half-empty

‘Cause if it all comes down to flavour

The glass is tipping in my favour

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why

Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky

I live life without pretending

I’m a sucker for happy endings

Thanks for the lemonade

Thanks for the lemonade!

Now take your time to answer me

For the beauty of romancing

Is to calm your trembling hand with mine

While begging love to fill your eyes

I can hardly breathe while waiting

To find out what your heart is saying

And as we’re swirling in this flavour

The world is tilting in our favour

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why

Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky

I live life without pretending

I’m a sucker for happy endings

Thanks for the lemonade

Thanks for the lemonade!

I’ve got it made

Rest in the shade

And hold my love

While God above

Stirs with a spoon

We share the moon

Smile at the bees

More sugar please

He really loves us after all

We’re gonna need another straw!

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why

Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky

I live life without pretending

I’m a sucker for happy endings

Thanks for the lemonade

Thanks for the lemonade!

I am not a chicken

2006-10-23T23:22:00.001+10:00

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. It can be quite dangerous I know, and yes I’ve probably been over thinking things again but I watched House, from last week, and just thought how interesting it is the way the mind can work. How we sort through issues in our mind and sort through what is fact and fiction. I wonder sometimes if what I see is real. Am I imagining the things around me? I used to be afraid but know I’m not sure it matters. After all what is reality? I know what my reality is. My reality is God, and His son who He sent to die for my sins and the Holy Spirit my guide and comfort. What is your reality? Is it based here on Earth? Maybe your reality is your family and friends. Perhaps it’s your schoolwork or job. I guess it could even be a hobby. The key fact in all this is that your reality is what defines you. It makes you who you are and who you are going to become. So if you define yourself by your reality and your reality is based on Earth, you define yourself by the world. As Christians we talk about idols. An idol is something you worship. Worship, as quoted from Michelle Kaye, is “a hearts response to the worth-ship” of something. We don’t define ourselves by our idols; yes our idols define what we do but not who we are. After all when the Israelites made the golden calf and began to worship it in the desert they did not become calves themselves, they may have acted like silly old moos but they did not by definition become a cow. Now a duck that is raised from birth by a chicken, although it is not a chicken, it is defined as a chicken because that’s what it thinks it is, that is it’s reality. Take a duck that has been raised by a duck and put it with a chicken it will act differently to how it acts with ducks, but it is by definition still a duck even though it may not act the same way. Not a very good example I know but then ducks don’t have free choice. Our choices are defined by who we are and what we do. So yes by stopping worshipping our ‘idols’ we can prevent bad choices by what we do. What about who we are? A man can obey the law, and never really do anything wrong, he is still a sinner but I don’t want to get into that right now. He can be in essence good but he is not righteous and pure, because sinners raised him he is by definition a sinner. It’s his reality. If he were to become righteous and pure he would need to be defined by what is righteous and pure. We are all ducks raised by chickens, we define ourselves by a chicken and we are chickens but we are not. There is something missing, you see because although it is real for us as individuals it is not real. When a chicken looks at the duck, it doesn’t see a chicken; it sees a duck that thinks it’s a chicken. If you show the duck another duck, it will indeed see a duck, but it will not associate itself with the duck because it defines itself as a chicken. The old, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” So how do you make the duck see itself as a duck instead of a chicken? I don’t know myself but I do know this, if you are for the betterment of self, check what it is that defines, what makes you who you are. I was almost strangled by a scarf in high school so I became a person who didn’t like my neck being touched it defined who I was. You may think that isn’t very odd but I’m also someone who is ‘touchy feely’ I like hugging people and giving them massages and leaning on them and basically getting up in their personal space. It’s who I am; so one incident changed the definition of who I am. There was an exception to the rule. That is not right. We must define ourselves by the everlasting God. Not just worship Him by what we say and do but by our very being, self. I am not a chicken, I look like a duck therefore I am a duck. I am not of this world, I was made in the likeness of God therefore I am the likeness of God, as long as I define myself by Jesus my Lord and Saviour. One day when I get to heaven it will be unchangeably true that I am the likeness of God, just like the rest of the believers before and after me. It was what I was created for I will be it again.

Home is where Your Heart is

2006-10-14T20:50:00.001+10:00

I wish I were stronger
Or I could fight harder
But I’ve found that I’m softer
And prone to giving up
I’d hoped you were someone
Who’d make up for the bad?
Who’d look after me always?
Just by taking my hand
And leading me through storms
Could you keep my world from crashing down?
It’s so cold out there
I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stand
Waiting for your decision
To come into my life
For the good times and bad times
Through struggle and strife
I need my protector
I’ve left my heart open
And risked getting cold
But I guess I’m just hoping

You’ll choose it for your home

Ready for Love...

2006-10-09T22:11:00.001+10:00

Hey everyone, in the spirit of ignoring my homework for a bit longer I thought I’d write a quick blog. I was just listening to some of my music that I got a little while ago and I found this song that I hadn’t listened to fully yet and I really like India Arie. So I thought I’d share these lyrics because they sort of explain the way I feel and I know a few other people who have felt like this. You’ll have to stay tuned for what happens next because I don’t know myself yet…

Ready For Love
India Arie

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I’d quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I’ve been thinking
Maybe you’re not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I’ll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won’t complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I‘ll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect’s the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you’ll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready…

Life is wonderful because...

2006-10-06T23:54:00.001+10:00

I am so happy! This week started of really bad I started off the week feeling ill and having a ton of work to do with a blinding headache but everything’s turned out great. Well as good as it can be, I'm pretty sure it can’t get any better… no I tell a lie (Shock! Horror!) It can get better and it will. Yes, that’s right because tomorrow is the 7th of October and the significance of this is that Simon and Lauren get back from their jet setting overseas. I can’t wait to catch up with them and hear all about their adventures. It’s very exciting, I can hardly wait til I see them, but I will have to.

I have applied for a job. I probably won’t get it but it’d be nice if I got an interview and was considered. It’ll suck a bit if I get a call back saying, “You won’t be needed for an interview.” Or worse no call back! I could do with a job; I need the money, for reasons yet to be revealed.

Anyway I’ve been having some interesting dreams lately, I won’t share them because they’re a little embarrassing in a funny/peculiar kind of way. Especially seeing as in one I found myself in nothing but a towel with other people around, buoy my cheeks would’ve been red! Actually one, although in places it was quite strange, I woke up thinking, ‘what a nice dream, I wouldn't mind if that happened in real life.’ But I’m not going to share what the dream was this evening.

Life is wonderful because I am alive!!!

I’ll try and blog again soon, hopefully with something interesting to say!

Love you all, especially you Talia!

A little gushy...

2006-09-30T22:55:00.001+10:00

Well, what is there to say… hmm… well another friend just got engaged which I am really excited about, she’s practically my sister and I’m so happy for her, I love her to pieces and I’m so glad she’s happy. I’m so excited for her I could sing and dance… hehe and I’m probably like a fifth of how excited she is. I just want to go around hugging people… but not everyone likes hugs as much as me :-( but that’s okay! Don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight I’m too hyped. Actually I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep all week! So much going on… I wish I could tell everyone but I’m not going to share… for a little while at least. The last few weeks have been good. Even though I’ve been basically on my own, I haven’t really felt alone. Of course I’ll be glad when I have someone to talk to again but it’s not like I’m going crazy… crazier… haha. Anyways I’m so pumped, church is going to be great tomorrow I can’t wait. I love Glenroy, it’s so cool, of course my home corps is still and always will be Campbelltown, but that’s just because that’s where my family is, if they all moved corps then whatever corps they moved to would be my corps, of course there’d be no one left at Campbelltown hardly, hehe! I’m so excited and happy and smiley… anyone would think I was in love, and I guess I am, I’m in love with Jesus and my family and the church, not the building, the Christian community that makes up church. Anyway I love you all and before I make my self sick with all this gushy stuff I’ll say ciao.
Ciao bella and/or babe!!!

Believing for Someone

2006-09-26T23:22:00.001+10:00

By Letitia Rowe

I try but I fail,
The words I choose are not right,
The time I choose to say them is not convenient,
The person I say them to does not want them.

I cannot find the answers,
They have not yet been given me,
Yet somehow these words fit nicely.

Tell me what to say,
Tell me what to do.

I cannot go alone,
I have not got the strength,
I wish things could be different,
I wish there were other ways.

I cannot be three people,
I cannot find a way,
Be friend,
Be guide,
Believer.

I will not give in easily,
I’ll fight until I die,
Even if this is my killer,
I cannot let things lie.

Why is it we must suffer?
Why does this force not weaken?
Why is it still unseen?
Why does it seem so bigger?

I am not blind nor beggar,
I’m not the disfigured soul,
And yet I feel each moment,
The pain as if my own.

Reshape, remould,
Build through me someone new,
Turn someone shattered,
To someone whole,
And someone even better.

You were born to be free!

2006-09-25T19:24:00.001+10:00

I went to the Aggressive Christianity Conference last week and Danielle Strickland spoke on Thursday night about Gideon, Judges 6:11-40, and I took some notes and I thought I’d share some of the key points.

Gideon was being oppressed and he was afraid. The angel of the Lord said to him, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
In order for us to receive the word of the Lord we need to have Faith to believe it.
For people to be free there needs to be some realignment in their life. For Gideon to believe he would be free something needed to shift in his life.

“True humility is agreeing with God about who are you.”
Insecurity True Insecurity
Pride/arrogance Humility False humility
Agree with the Lord NOT the world or the devil.
Revolution begins with us in our home. It makes war on the devil.
“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of justice.”
We put on the shoes of the Gospel of Peace and fight for justice and righteousness. God created us to be free.

“True dependency is agreeing with God about who He is.”
True dependency creates pockets where only God can show up. God sent Gideon to do things that he needed to be dependant on Him for.
Measurable goals vs. believing in God and depending on God to do great things.

“Agreeing with God about who each other are.”

We get our identity from God. We need to believe in God and make room for Him to show up.

Missing Twit...

2006-09-20T00:12:00.001+10:00

Sorry this is so soon after the last blog but I’m a little bored, there’s not much to do during holidays, unless I start on my homework. Means I’m watching DVD’s a lot and playing music and sitting around doing nothing. I’ve got the dogs to keep me company but their not great conversationalists and lets face it after grr… ruff… woof… and yelp… there’s not much I can say… Which brings me to why I’m writing. I’m not sure who is going to read this so I’m a little concerned… but as usual I write anyway. I was thinking that it’s not a great feeling to care for someone more than they care for you, or to miss them more than they miss you. Makes you feel like a bit of twit really. I’m probably just thinking way too much but I kind of wonder wether, in the long run, it’s all worth it. I mean obviously caring about people is important and friendship is important. It’s just sometimes I think, perhaps celibacy is the best option. Sure would cause a lot less pain… of course if everyone chose a life of celibacy we’d be looking at the end of the human race as we know it. Okay so I’m being my usual annoying self but I can’t help but think everyone would be better off if I just chose to be celibate. No guys would have to worry about me falling for them and I have an easy response for any guys who tried to pick me up. I think Mum would be really happy too. I just wish I didn’t keep feeling like a sap.

Believe

2006-09-19T17:56:00.001+10:00

I was listening to my CD's the other day and I heard this song, it's one that I really like so I thought I'd share it. It's a good one.

I say on Sunday
how much I want revival,
but then by Monday
I can’t even find my bible.
Where’s the pow’r,
the pow’r of the cross in my life?

I’m sick of playin’
the game of religion,
I’m tired of losing
my reason for livin’.
Where’s the pow’r,
the pow’r of the cross in my life?

I’m not content just to walk
through my life
givin’ in to the lies,
walkin’ in comprimises now.
We cry out as a generation
that was lost,
but now is found in the pow’r
of the cross.

We believe in You,
we believe in the pow’r
of Your Word and it’s truth.
We believe in You,
so we lay down our cause
that our cross might be found in You.

I’m not satisfied
doin’ it my own way,
I’m not satisfied
to “do church” and walk away.
I’m not satisfied,
there’s no love in my life but You.

I’m not satisfied
livin’ in yesterday’s hour.
I’m not satisfied
to have the form,
but not the pow’r.
I’m not satisfied,
Lord I am crucified in You.

A New Blog...

2006-09-16T00:09:00.001+10:00

Well this is my new blog that I may or may not use. I'm considering giving the old one the flick but can't decide yet. Anyway need sleep soon. Ciao.